cuponoodles

I feel like I'm a walking cliche at the moment. I'm at a crossroads in my life, or something like that. Maybe this is post-graduation limbo.

The internship is an opportunity that I think I've wasted, because my heart isn't in it. Even after experiencing the high of writing some decent stories, I haven't retained an urge to be a hard-hitting, corruption-exposing, ace reporter with a press pass tucked in my hat. On the other hand, I'm not very enthused about the prospect of going back to school for a master's in educationr. I think that after six (I know, six!) years of undergrad, I may not be ready for another year of school. And then what? Pursue a job in teaching only to come face-to-face with the ugly reality of public schools? Become a apathetic burnout like most of the teachers at my high school?

I know. I shouldn't be daunted by any imaginary fears of the future, because I'm pretty sure that teaching is what I am going to end up doing for a career. Actually, I have always planned on becoming a teacher, or a professor; I just didn't plan on becoming one so soon.

In a couple of days I will be heading down to Eugene to attend an informational meeting at the College of Education. I'll get to ask questions, hopefully talk to an advisor-type, and I'll be quite frank about my 2.70 GPA and lack of volunteer work or experience in relevant fields of studies. Then, I'll really know what I have to do in order to get in.

If it looks like I actually have a chance of being accepted this year, I'll send in my application in February and start school in June. However, I don't think I will and that's actually fine with me. I think it'll be good to be in Portland for a year or so, do the relevant volunteer work that I need to do, and make some money at my part time job. I'm pretty sure the volunteering will help me in becoming a better teacher, or force me to rethink my choice of career. Then, if I still want to become a teacher when February rolls around again, I'll send in my application and face my future.

In two days, I think I'll know what's up. I guess it's this uncertainty that's killing me right now.